A Sappy Message From Me;)

I just wanted to take a moment and say something real quick. Ok first, I had to redo my website because tripod wouldn't let me edit the last one...wasn't hard though, and it only took a few hours...gotta love copy and paste:)lol Anyway, unfortunately, tripod decided to do that to me a little too late. If anyone saw the last page after I made the last update on it, I figured I should explain myself...seeing as how I said that I wouldn't be giving any effort on the site anymore. (Yes, I'd like to forget about it, too, but I'll try after this:P) Well, I hate the fact that I posted that message. And it really wasn't too much about Beau, but more me...I was all emotional and listening to wrong advise....of course, the advise was merely triggering thoughts stashed in the back of my head. I'm a very pessimistic person when it comes to myself, so I always think the worse about people(or I guess maybe I should say guys, rather than just people) I have a very hard time trusting guys, and the thought of being unsure if I could trust Beau...yeah, not fun. Like, I knew I could, but in the back of mind hid some doubts. I've had guys play head games with me...be my friend one second and hate me the next...or rather, pretend to be all nice and chummy, than do something really crappy to me...for like, my entire life...ok, Jr. High on up. And some of the things these guys have said to me...rude things, I may add...still haunt me.(some of which are even Beau's friends, so...) So, needless to say, trusting guys is a bit hard for me to do. Plus the fact that people have me feel like more of like, a groupie than a friend of his(because of the BCFC), from senior year, even up until now. Not necessarily Beau, but other people...and I don't wanna be a damn groupie! So, yeah, I posted that message from my own insecurities...and believe me, I wish I hadn't. But, somehow or another he managed to let it go like it never happened even though I'm pretty sure I didn't deserve that, but he did, nevertheless. So, it's all done over with, but it still bothers me that I did that. Then I even went back to tripod to decided if I wanted to take it down or leave it up, but I decided to leave it up, plus, tripod wouldn't let me edit the site. But, hope I didn't give anyone the impression that I like, hated him or something in that evil message, cuz I kept saying I didn't. Cuz I never did, and I'm sure never will. I care very much about him and his friendship, and he know that if he ever needs anything I'm right here:) And I couldn't just not touch the site anymore and anything cuz everytime something cool happened with him I felt the need to update, but couldn't cuz of tripod....then I just redid it. Plus, this is the BCFC site...and the BCFC was like, my baby senior year...lol...yeah, I'm on crack, I know:)lol But it was. Though Megan kinda disbanded it shortly after she became pres(cuz apparently she dindt have time for it) it still exists to me and stuff....It's still the official BCFC and that's all their is to it! So, yeah, the BCFC and this site are my babies and the site is back up and working and all nice and stuff, so it's all good!:) Anyways, yeah, I'm gonna shut up now:)lol And like, I don't open up and get all personal and stuff very often at all, so consider yourselves lucky!:)lol Ok, So, I'm off and I 'll talk to ya'll laterz!:)